Responsibility for Wrong Choices

My 46-year-old daughter blames me for every wrong choice she has made in her life, even though she left home at 16 because she didn’t like the fact that I was cleaning up her filthy dirty bedroom.  There, I have said it.  I am writing about it because my husband showed me a bible verse from 2 Kings this morning that was very helpful in my ongoing dealing with this.

There is a doctor on TV who has a program dealing with people’s “issues” and family relationships.  One thing that has bothered me in the few programs I have watched is that he has a tendency to blame the parents for the children’s bad choices.  But what does the bible have to say about this?

2 Kings 14:6 “……….the fathers shall not be put to death for the children, nor the children be put to death for the fathers; but every man shall be put to death for his own sin”

In applying this to my life, should I be held responsible for what my daughter does? or should she be held responsible for what I do?  No, every person is responsible for their own choices in life.

Enough said.


Rethinking Riding the Cowichan Valley Trail

We are rethinking riding our bikes on the Cowichan Valley Trail now due to a cougar warning.. this morning we went to the staging area for a ride and the above sign had been posted.  It was not there 2 days ago.  You can see a bear or a wolf but cougars do not usually make their presence known until they are upon their prey.  As we do not know exactly where the sighting was we thought better of riding there today so we went back to the Somenos Dike Trail.  Sometimes it is better to be cautious.

Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent man foreseeth the evil , and hideth himself…..”

Venting: Leaving Dogs in Cars on Hot Days

This is a venting post.  Today we went to a local strip mall for husband to find some running shoes.  Outside one of the stores there was a beautiful blue merle Sheltie sitting in the passenger seat of a car.  The windows were rolled down only about 3 inches, not enough to keep the car from becoming very warm inside.  This makes me really angry because I don’t understand why someone would leave their dog in a car on a hot day.  Granted there was a breeze but the temperature was 75F, warm enough for the car to become very hot for the dog.   There was a security guard nearby so I asked him if he could do anything about dogs in cars and he said “yes.”  Apparently there were keeping an eye on the car to see if the owner came and that they had a few minutes to come back before security would call the police.

Many stores in our area have changed their policies so that dogs on leash are allowed in the store.

People, if you are going shopping on hot days, please leave your dog at home!

Bicycle Riding on the Cowichan Valley Trail

Today we went back to riding our bicycles on the Cowichan Valley Trail.  We have been riding on the Somenos Dyke Trail but with hot weather coming, the Cowichan Valley Trail is much cooler.

I have been thinking about just how much the Cowichan Valley Trail is like life.  There are shadows and sunlight, as there are dark times in our life and bright times when everything is going well.  The way is narrow, and for a Christian, we are to follow the “narrow path”, not the wide path that leads to destruction.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”

The Cowichan Valley Trail can be a dangerous place.  Sometimes cyclists come up very fast with no bell to let you know they are coming, and if you are not riding right on your side, it could be a disaster.  Life is like that.  Sometimes danger comes upon us that we cannot see coming.  According to the Lord’s will, he may deliver us from the danger, or we may have to go through it and be a testimony of God’s grace to us through difficult times.

There are wonderful sights, sounds and smells on the Cowichan Valley Trail..  wildflowers, the green trees and shrubbery,  the sound of roosters crowing, or sheep, the smell of freshly mowed hay at the farms beyond the trail, the smell of horses in the pasture of a farm near the trail, this is beautiful to some.  As with life, all of Creation if we just look around us, the sound of a pouring rain or a gentle rain, the sound of thunder, the sight of lightning.  The fragrance of flowers, or puppy breath, or a baby..  all of life.

I am thankful to be back on the Cowichan Valley trail.

Removing the Bird Feeder

This Spring is the first time I have fed birds from a feeder having always fed them through winter by throwing seed on the ground.  I never thought that so many varieties would come to the feeder and it was getting to be too much, as though I was the only one feeding the birds.  The female House Finch in the photo above is one of many visitors.

I began to think it wasn’t such a good idea when by chance I saw a female sparrow carrying a moth to her nest.  That was when it dawned on me that perhaps seed was too easy and that they should be looking for their natural food.  Then a couple of days later I saw that a Starling had appeared  and if there was one species I did not want on a bird feeder it is Starlings for they take over very quickly.  A day or so after that my husband saw a squirrel in the tray below the feeder and the heavy glass roof above the feeder was knocked at an angle.  This meant that some brave squirrel had jumped from quite a distance to reach the food.  And that was the end for me so I took the feeder down and carried the pole holding it away.

But I felt very guilty..would my little friends starve after I took their food supply away?  such foolishness on my part.  Yes, they did hang around looking forlorn for a few days and I continued to feel guilty.  I decided to put some seed out on the ground in different places and it wasn’t long before a few of the birds came back.  This morning I was lying on a swing in our back yard and a Chestnut-backed Chickadee flew in and landed on my knee.  It looked at me as if to say, “that’s OK, don’t feel so bad.”  This little Chickadee who formerly would swoop down, grab a black oil sunflower seed and fly into the tree was now going down to the ground.  And I also noticed that there is a new flock of Sparrow fledglings coming to the seed on the ground as well.  For previous fledglings it was difficult for the mother to entice them to the feeder so ground-feeding is better for them.

What does the bible say about feeding the birds?

Matthew 6:26 “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them……”

I do still provide them clean water in a bird bath every day, and I still have my hummingbird feeder up because we had such a cold and wet Spring but I think that in July when everything starts to bloom I will remove that as well.


Lack of Sleep

Today I am suffering the effects of lack of sleep.  It was probably 3am before I got to sleep last night or should I say this morning.  Yesterday before going to bed I watched a movie called Take Shelter, made in 2011.  The “information” said it was about a man having apocalyptic dreams who decided to upgrade his back yard shelter, but it was so much more than that.  Turned out to be a psychological drama about a man who may or may not be developing a mental illness as his mother had when he was a boy of 10.  Were his dreams about an illness coming upon him? or were they premonitions.  I went to bed before it was over and tossed and turned thinking about it.  This movie to me was all about  fear..  fear of the unknown was taking hold of him.  Was he sick? or was there truly a disaster coming?

I don’t really know why this movie had such a hold on me.  Except to say that one evening years and years ago I was playing cards with friends and out of nowhere one of the men said to me, “you will know the person who murders you.”  Everyone sat there pretty much stunned and I have never forgotten that.  Was this an offhand comment or was it an insight given to him?  who knows?  For some reason this movie reminded me of that.  My own personal fear of the unknown.

And yet I am a Christian and I am not supposed to fear what the world or man might do to me because I have a home in heaven waiting for me.  Christians are admonished to fear the Lord in a reverential way because of who He is, Almighty God.

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

This morning I watched the end of the movie on YouTube and I’m glad I did.

I hope that tonight will be a peaceful night of restorative sleep.


edited to add that after writing this post yesterday, I had a very good sleep last night.. from now on I will have to be very careful what I watch before I go to bed..










One Thing Leads to Another

Lately there have been white Pelicans in this area so today we decided to drive to Cowichan Bay to see if they were there.  It was raining all morning, a light and misty rain, the kind you can get soaked in because it doesn’t seem that you need an umbrella.

The Pelicans were not at Cowichan Bay so that led to a drive to Mill Bay to see if they were there.  Not there either, but what we did find on the drive home is that our favorite produce stand is open again.  Called Sweet Meadow Farm, it has the freshest produce we have ever found. Most is local but they do bring in Okanagan cherries, the best we have found.  We bought some new carrots and nugget potatoes and are looking forward to those for supper tonight.  This stand is only open from late June until late August.

But best for me was a visit to a farm market at Cobble Hill.  I saw a small sign on the road leading back from Mill Bay so we drove to Cobble Hill to check it out.  There were not many stands, but there was a lady selling fresh bouquets of flowers picked yesterday from her garden.  Husband kindly bought one for me, it is lovely.  A lot of flowers I was not familiar with and I am enjoying it on my table.  Photos below:

The second is another view.

We expect the rest of the day will be quiet.

A Baby Deer and Pouring Rain

Yesterday my husband was angry with me.. In the morning we took our dog in for a grooming to a place that is in the country.   As we left the groomers a squirrel ran into the road but thankfully we missed hitting it, such was not the case a couple of years ago.  So we were talking about this, and about the time in 2012 when a deer jumped out of bushes and ran into the front fender of the car to $3,000 damage.  I have always thought that husband has very slow reactions when he sees an animal.  He doesn’t slow or swerve, it’s like his mind goes blank at those times.  At any rate, as we were talking about these things we were driving down the forested hill towards Cowichan Bay when a doe and a very new fawn were crossing the road.  I yelled “deer and fawn” and husband slowed but he did not stop.  The doe went into the bushes but the fawn seemed scared and started wandering around on the road.  I was terrified that someone would come from the other direction and hit it.  I told my husband to “Stop the Car!” and finally he did.  A truck came from the other direction and stopped because  he saw the fawn on the road.  After what seemed like a long time but was only a minute or so, the doe came back to the road and the fawn followed her into the bushes.  Husband was not pleased with the way I spoke to him about this matter and did not speak to me for the rest of the day..  and that I would have to go pick up the dog at the groomers on my own.  I should say that since we moved to Vancouver Island husband has done 90% of the driving and I have been concerned about losing my driving skills so probably it is good for me to drive more.

But today is a better day.  We went back to Cowichan Bay to get bread from the Artisan bakery there called True Grain.  But he got into the passenger seat and I had to drive there.   It is a wonderful thing that neither of us are grudge holders.

Also, today we are having a good downpour of rain.  I am always thrilled for rain in June because July is always very hot and dry.  The temperatures for the past week or so have been mild and that has been a blessing also.  As I always say, rain for the forest, rain for the garden, rain for the river and the lake.  Two years ago we had a terrible drought, hopefully that will not happen this year.

Sharing the Gospel: The Final Opportunity

Recently I have written two posts regarding my husband’s opportunities to share the gospel with a neighbour who was due to move soon and of his desire to give a copy of The Gospel of John to the neighbour.  The last post for background is here:

This past Monday the neighbours moved but they have been back to clean up the house before the new people move in.  The last time husband was with this neighbour they discussed how to have a cell phone call come through the car radio speakers, and yesterday when the neighbours were here my husband told him that he couldn’t get his cell phone to work through the speakers so the neighbour came over and the two of them sat in the car.  What an opportunity.  After they discussed the speakers my husband said he wanted to give a gift and handed him the Gospel of John, to which the man said “there are thousands of religions” and my husband said that this was true but he was giving him the bible.  The neighbour replied that a friend of his was “always trying to get me saved” and I found that remarkable.  Husband asked him to promise to read the first 3 chapters of the Gospel of John knowing that the gospel of salvation is so clearly preached in these chapters.  The man said he would “add it to my collection”.

We probably will not see this couple again.  And only the Lord knows if the man will read the little book my husband gave him.  It is our prayer that he does and that he will be saved by grace through faith.

John 1:12-13 “but as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”

John 3:15-17 “That whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved”



The Wicked Heart

I am in a really blue mood today.  I watched the local news early this morning and saw something that was deeply disturbing to me, why they thought to include it in the local news is beyond me.  Allegedly there has been terrible abuse and cruelty to chickens in farms by employees which was captured on video.  I won’t go into details but I can’t get it out of my mind.  Truly as Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

This on the heels of a film called “Unity” which has aired on TV a couple of times lately.  It says it is about “why we can’t seem to get along even after thousands of years”.  I admit I have not watched all the movie but I did watch the part about the dairy industry, and about the calves that are born so that the cows “freshen” to produce the milk and it made me thankful that I am not now nor have not been for a very long time, a drinker of milk.

Why can’t people get along?  The answer is very simple, it all goes back to the fall, when Woman (later called Eve) and then Adam disobeyed the command of the LORD God and ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  From that moment on, sin touches everything and that is why “we can’t seem to get along”…

I really hate hearing about the cruelties in this world..

Maranatha….Come Lord Jesus




After the Garage Sale

In a previous post (go here) I wrote about an upcoming garage sale which was held yesterday.  Besides items that we really hoped would sell, I put in 3 dolls from my  collection and a mohair teddy bear, photos below of Kya and Kamiko and the teddy bear.   Alliyah, the artist doll from The Doll Maker is not pictured.

I must say that after the garage sale I was exhausted although I can’t say why except it was quite a challenging day.  We did sell all the things we hoped would sell but it was the variety of people who made it a challenge.  One lady wanted to go into a dark place to see whether or not the camping lantern she wanted to buy had a bright enough light so husband put her into his workshop where she could turn on the lantern after the door was closed.   Another fellow said he only had 25 cents left and could he buy a framed picture of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”..  sorry, no.  A couple sat in camp chairs and said how comfortable they were but they wanted to “think about it”..  of course I knew that they would not be back.

But as the day progressed, it was the dolls and the mohair bear that drew a lot of attention. A number of elderly ladies said that they had a doll collection and one of them was very knowledgeable about teddy bears.  It was very interesting talking to them.  One of the ladies with a collection purchased my artist doll “Alliyah”..  I was very happy to let her to go a collector.  I got a lot of compliments on the bear which I had made some years ago but she didn’t sell.  I was asking $35, perhaps too much.  At one point a rather rowdy little boy came and picked the bear up.  I was freaking out inside but thankfully was able to remain calm and silent on the outside.

Regarding Kya and Kamiko, my Chinese and Japanese Lee Middleton dolls,  a lot of people admired them.  One lady picked each of them up and examined them closely, I thought for sure she would buy Kamiko but she bought neither.  After that a little girl came in with her father and wanted Kamiko but it looked to me like this girl wasn’t really in love with her, she just wanted another “toy”.  Her father said no and they went on their way.  After that a little girl came in with her grandmother and expressed interest but again, it seemed that she wanted a “toy” and was not in love with the doll.  It was extremely important to me that Kya and Kamiko would go to someone who would care for them.  After that a girl came in with her mother and younger siblings.. they made me most nervous of all.  The girl was carrying a very gooey cupcake and had icing all over her mouth.  She walked up to the bear and touched it on the head, I expected to see icing but her mom called her away.  I knew that this girl would not take care of either of the dolls, they would just be “toys” played with for one day and then tossed aside to who knows what would happen.. don’t ask me why I knew this but I do.

So all in all, it was a good day sales wise.  We sold enough merchandise to pay our house taxes which was the goal.  I sold one doll to a collector which was all I could hope for.  The bear is back in my clothes closet  and as for Kya and Kamiko, they have joined most of the other dolls in my collection on a sideboard next to my desk.  And they look happy to be there.



God’s Protection Over Our Little Dog..

Last Friday we could have lost our little dog save for the Lord’s protection.  It is my habit to go out in the back yard in the morning with a cup of coffee and on this day I went out with the dog to let him wander in the yard.  When we go for walks he has never been off-leash and we always go down to the street at the end of our community. On this day I did not realize that the side gate was open when I went out because husband had opened it to carry a large hydrangea plant in his wheelbarrow down to our driveway to be put up for sale at a garage sale we had yesterday.  About five minutes later, I heard someone come to the front door and then husband talking to someone.  At that same moment I saw that the side gate was open and realized that our dog was not in the yard.   What a relief to see that husband came to the back yard carrying the dog which had been returned by the daughter of our neighbours who are due to move this coming Monday.

Yesterday during the garage sale I found out what had happened.  The daughter had come to her parent’s home to mow the lawn when she saw our dog come into the front yard and wander down the road heading for the street where it is his custom to go for his daily walks.  This street is very busy and there are no boulevards nor sidewalks, it is an accident waiting to happen for a dog off leash.  Our dog does not know this lady well but she called him and thankfully he went to her so she could catch him and bring him home.

I say this is the Lord’s perfect timing and protection in having the daughter come to mow the lawn so early in the morning.. She was there to catch our dog from what could have been disaster.  Thank you Lord!



Blooming Broom and Memories

The wild broom is blooming now. It is considered a weed by municipalities and they do their best to get rid of it but for me it brings back a memory of a very sad time which our Lord in his mercy and timing changed to joy.  The photo above was taken yesterday near the Cowichan Estuary while the photos below are of memories.

When I was a child there was a bush down the street we called the “little bush” where there were many broom plants.  We used to make crowns of the branches. In June of 2010, after babysitting my granddaughter for 2 or 3 days a week since 2005, her parents made the decision to move to Vancouver Island.  I was devastated at this upcoming loss of seeing them so often.  At the same time, our little malti-poo Jamie had developed epilepsy a few months before.

In early July of 2010 we took my granddaughter and Jamie to a place called Garry Point in Steveston BC for one last day trip.  There was a large stand of broom there, and I remembered how I used to make crowns of it so we stopped and made one for my granddaughter.  Below is a photo of me reaching for the broom.  My granddaughter is behind me.

Below is a photo of my granddaughter wearing the crown and of Jamie below her.  I am wearing a bag for Jamie in case he got too tired to walk.

Less than a month later, Jamie had died from the ravages of epilepsy, and my granddaughter had moved with her mom and dad to Vancouver Island.  My heart was broken.  I sold my car because I could no longer stand to drive it with the memories of her riding in the back in her car seat.

But God in his mercy moved us to Vancouver Island a year later.  He provided a buyer for our home a week after it was listed.  He provided a friend of my husband who had a big toy hauler to move us thus saving us the cost of expensive movers.  Our new home was in the country, a place I always wanted to live.  It was not large by modern standards, but it had everything we had always wished for.  It was/is located 1/2 hour from my granddaughter and her mom and dad.

My granddaughter is 13 now, a young lady becoming independent.  I don’t see her nearly as often as I used to but that’s OK.   I am grateful that the Lord, in his mercy, healed my broken heart.  I am thankful and realize that everything happened according to His plan for all of us.


Another Opportunity to Share the Gospel

Earlier I wrote about my husband’s opportunity to share the gospel with a neighbour who will be moving a week from now.  Here is the link to that post for background.

Since then my husband has helped this man with their move twice.  The man had a knee replacement recently, so my husband has been doing work which is very hard, such as taking apart a large sectional sofa and loading it into the back of the neighbour’s truck.  This left him with a very sore wrist for which he is now wearing a brace because the pain was so bad.  Neither did he get a chance to be witness to the man on that occasion.

Yesterday the neighbour came over again to ask for help and he asked why my husband was wearing a brace on his wrist.  Not wanting to give the real reason husband told him that it was an old injury acting up which was not a lie because he did break that wrist when he was a teenager.   At any rate, they went out and were gone for a couple of hours during which time the neighbour brought up about the bible again and husband got a very good opportunity to share about his wild teenage years and how things changed when he became a believer in the Lord Jesus.

After husband came home he was very excited, told me he wanted to take me somewhere the neighbour had shown him and to bring my camera.  Then we drove to a new place on the Cowichan Estuary where we had never been before.  How did we miss this in the almost 6 years we have been here?  This was a real blessing for me.

The neighbour told husband that he would probably need him again before their final move and husband says that before they leave he is going to give him a Gospel of John.  Surely God’s timing is here.


Gramma What About God and Angels..

Gramma, what about God and angels, that is the question my 4-year-old grandson asked me so many years ago.  His mother, my daughter, had enrolled him in a pre-school called Jacob’s Ladder, a Christian pre-school, surely this was of the Lord.  It wasn’t long before she phoned me to say that my grandson was asking questions about God and angels and she couldn’t answer them and would I talk to him.  So one night my grandson slept over at our home and it was then that he asked me the precious question “Gramma, what about God and angels?” And so we talked about how God created the angels and then about creation, the Lord Jesus Christ, salvation in a simple way.

My husband and I were attending a brethren assembly at the time and I was teaching Sunday School to the pre-schoolers..  again, surely God’s timing.  With my daughter’s blessing we began to take my grandson every second Sunday to church with us where he was in my Sunday School class for 2 years after which his mother announced that he would no longer be coming with us.  But during those two years he had a lot of bible teaching.

One precious memory is when we put on a little Christmas program and my grandson at 4 played Joseph and another little girl played Mary.  They walked hand-in-hand down the aisle to the front of the chapel where they asked one of the boys if there was any room in the inn for them and then went to the stable..    another memory is another Christmas program where my grandson quoted the verse  Eccl. 12:1 “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth.”  but he memorized it in a simpler way “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth.”

I often wonder if my grandson remembers anything of the times he spent in Sunday School, or the time we talked about God and angels.  He is 25 years old now, we live in different areas and I seldom see him.  But I do hope that those things he learned so many years ago are still in his heart.

Here is Jacob’s Ladder perennial in my new garden, blooming now.  Every time I look at it, I think of those precious days. Evidently the plant was named for the way the leaves look like rungs on a ladder but I think it wonderful that it was named for something that takes place in the bible.  And sometimes I wonder if someone at the pre-school told the story of the angels ascending and descending the ladder in Jacob’s dream (Genesis 28:12)  and this stuck in my grandson’s mind so much that he told his mother, and that this led to his coming to Sunday school.  With God all things are possible.